Tuesday, September 9, 2008

"I'll be praying for you"

What does this phrase mean? Do they people who use it sincerely intend to kneel down by their bedsides and ask their God to look after the person they uttered it to? Will they remember to bow their heads before the evening meal and ask for an other's blessings? Perhaps. I know many people who say those words with sincerity of heart and follow up on the promise. However, I think most of the time, its a cliche`, something that is said because it will sound reassuring.
I want to repeat those words when I hear of someone who has experienced a loss. I think people will be reassured by hearing it. Instead I hold back, knowing that I won't be going home to plead on their behalf. I think it would be disingenuous to use the phrase under false pretenses.
I've been pondering this phrase for sometime, and recently, I started polling my friends (3 of them, and now you--leave a comment) for their opinions. So far, there are 2 other votes that share my opinion.
The third offers the following viewpoint: People do mean it sincerely, and then follow through by saying a little silent prayer on the spot. In this view, the silent prayer doesn't have to start with "Father in Heaven, we give thanks for our many blessings". "Prayer" instead has a less conventional meaning, and can be fulfilled by whatever constitutes a prayer to the person who thinks it. It may be a traditional Judeo-Christian request, a Wiccan spell, or simply wishing the person well in one's heart.
I find this new definition reassuring and liberating, especially since I've used the broad definition of prayer to legitimize alternative belief systems for a long time. Yesterday, I used a version of that phrase for the first time in memory. I used in sincerely, and just saying it was reassuring to me.

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